“The Old Christmas Piano” is a soft, reflective Christmas ballad inspired by a quiet December spent at a ranch in the Georgia–Tennessee region. Far from home with my young son and our two competition horses, I felt both the ache of distance and the unexpected gift of slowing down. Sitting at an old piano by a window overlooking horses grazing all day, I began to reconnect with music, my sons, my horses, and the peaceful rise of my inner child.

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The song was recorded on the untuned piano available on site — a creative challenge that required choosing the naturally resonant octaves and notes. It pushed me out of my comfort zone in the most honest and humbling way.

What many don’t know is that the year leading to this moment had been one of the harshest of my life. After being assaulted from behind with a weapon by someone I believed was a friend, I was falsely accused and victim-blamed. I had lost a pregnancy — an unborn child — to the assault. I was grieving, trying to understand how such darkness could fall so suddenly, and how to hold myself together for my children. My partner was in jail at the time, beginning his sobriety journey. Life felt heavy, fragile, and painfully raw.

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So I traveled to reconnect with what was still alive in me: my children and their sports (I wouldn’t miss the football State Championship), my horses, my music, and the parts of myself that trauma had shaken loose. When I walked into the colonial house on that ranch — once inhabited by elite athletes with strong spiritual values — something inside me softened. I felt strangely at home. And the moment I sat at the untuned piano, it felt as though a warm blanket had been placed around my shoulders. I spent days and nights pouring into music everything my heart had been carrying.

 

What surprised me most was that beneath the grief, fear, and exhaustion, I found relief, gratitude, and a quiet, steady light. What I was feeling was not brokenness — it was a reconnection with my brother Jesus, and an honoring of the child within me — the part that remains holy, no matter what life brings.

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This song holds the essence of that moment: peace, faith, connection, and a gentle return to oneself. I am releasing it in its original raw format, exactly as it was born on that old piano. I hope, wherever you are in your journey, that it brings you warmth, inspiration, and meaning.

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With love,

 

Jō Gō